The 5 Stages of Fall Recovery | Advice from an Adult Amateur Equestrian

By: Ambassador Amy Bieber

​Last summer, I finally got to show at my goal fence height for two glorious rounds, one of which landed me my first first place in a jumper class ever. A month later at our next show, I went in to do a lower “warm up” round on the first day, and was promptly thrown off my horse. So it goes with horses, am I right? But where I could pick my younger self up off the ground and get going again like it never happened, my adult self does not bounce back so quickly.

​Fortunately in this case, I was not seriously injured in the fall, but I was shaken none the less. Now it is 9 months later, and my confidence has still not quite recovered from that spill. It has been an odd journey rebuilding my confidence that was already inconsistent to begin with, and I have realized as the weeks have passed that I am almost going through the stages of grief trying to get back on track. The more I think about it, the more it occurs to me that this always happens whenever I have a scary setback, so I decided to map it out in the hopes that it will guide me (or perhaps one of you) on the way back to the top.
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So here I present to you...

The Adult Amateur's Guide to the
​5 Stages of Fall Recovery

Stage 1: Frustration

My first thought upon hitting the ground (or while sailing through the air) is generally either “Wow, that was stupid!” or “This horse is such a jerk!” Either way, I end up dusting myself off, muttering obscenities either at myself for making a stupid riding error like asking for a huge gap distance where none existed, or at my horse for doing something he shouldn’t have done like spooking at a barrel he has seen 138 times. I find that this stage often lasts until the initial shock of falling wears off and is what generally allows me to get back on and finish the ride in the moment (if I do so quickly).

Stage 2: Fear

The dreaded second stage that seems to last longer and longer as I get older is fear. What if I make the same mistake and I fall again? What if this is a new habit my horse has picked up that I am going to have to deal with every single ride? What if I get seriously injured next time? The other kicker here is that falls always seem to happen when I’ve gotten my confidence to an all-time high, and then it comes along and knocks me down several pegs. This will leave me with an ever-present feeling of impending doom when things are going well, and serve to confirm my paranoia afterwards. It is in this stage when I will consider why I wasn’t satisfied in the 2’3 hunters, or in some cases why I ride at all when I am clearly not psychologically prepared for such a sport.

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Stage 3: Shame

Around this point in time I will look into the arena or scroll down my Instagram feed and see a pre-teen on an 18h dinosaur flying around the high children’s and begin to beat myself up. If a child can do it and not be afraid, what the hell is wrong with me? I tend to wonder how, after so much time and hard work, I have not overcome my fears and perfected my ability as a rider, especially when so many others my age have. It will also cross my mind that while my horse may be a jerk sometimes, he is a good horse. And if I am afraid aboard an objectively good horse, there MUST be something wrong with me.

Stage 4: Anger

​Closely related to stage 3 is stage 4. While wallowing around in my shame, I will get angry at myself for beating myself up. I will get angry at myself for being afraid, when I am a capable rider with, as previously determined, an objectively good horse. I will tell myself repeatedly that if I don’t want to be afraid and I want to be a better rider, I can’t waste time being afraid, withdrawing, or putting myself down. On many occasions, my trainer and barn buddies have commented that I ride better when I’m angry, and this is precisely why. It is a sort of adrenaline-fueled fake confidence that fortunately tends to smoothly lead into the final stage of this process.

Stage 5: Persistence

​In the end, this wild emotional ride will lead here: I SHOULD be better, so I MUST be better. After some falls or particularly dicey incidents, sometimes it may take months for me to get here. Other times it will only take a few minutes. Last summer in Oklahoma City was the first time I felt too injured to get right back on my horse and immediately go again, and it has taken ever since then for me to get back to this place of persistence and willingness to push forwards. Some days, this cycle happens within the span of one lesson. In the end, though, it is important that we learn to take our reactions to the bad parts of riding and utilize them as motivation to be better and to do better. 

And if nothing else, sometimes a gnarly fall at least leaves you with a good video to laugh at later on.