Slightly Unhinged Thoughts of the Adult Amateur Equestrian

Because this sport has a funny way of requiring equal parts dedication, delusion and just enough unhinged behavior to keep it all together.

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If my horse can feel my emotions, perhaps he can also feel my desire for him to stop launching over the 2 foot like it’s an international derby high option.

If I don't watch the video of my round, did I even miss that distance?
*do not answer that!"

Maybe the judge didn't see my entire existential crisis in the corner.

Horse Industry: Here's a sport where perfection is impossible and criticism is constant. 
Me: Sounds relaxing!

Maybe my horse is fresh.
Maybe Mercury is in retrograde.
Maybe we're both just being dramatic.

If I leave the barn now, I can still get home at a reasonable hour.
*stares at horse chewing hay for another 47 minutes with no regrets

If I sell a kidney, that's basically two years of board. 
not that I've done the math or anything.

My horse definitely loves me. Which is why he dragged me to grass like a hostage.

I should save money this month.
*submits entries for another show

Maybe my horse isn't behind the leg. Maybe he's just protecting me from making poor life choices at speed.

I know I have responsibilities. But have you considered that my horse looked  cute today?

What kind of person would I be if I hadn't taken "just one lesson"?
Probably richer. Certainly less interesting.

I hope the judge appreciates authenticity. Because what I just did certainly wasn't accuracy.

Maybe he doesn't need treats before every class. But I am not willing to risk it!

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